…and to top it off…

There are a couple of people on this flight that smell REALLY bad. It’s Southwest Airlines. It’s not like you’ve been flying non-stop for 18 hours. Sprinkle a day, people.

Well, the fasten seatbelt sign is off and the flight attendants are up out of their seats. Hallelujah!!! LOL!!! Got the tunes. Got the power. Not power outlets, though. I mean, like… I’m feeling ENERGIZED. That’s all.

*deep breath*

By The Time I Get To Arizona!!!

Remember that PE tune??? I ***LOVED*** that song!!! Especially the video where they…yea…at the end of the video. Politics Time Again. (Are you going to vote now?) It’s not you. It’s me. I’m all o we the map. I’m liquor deprived. Or maybe I’m just depraved.

Who’s to say?

*yawn*

Listening to some Al B. Sure! He was clowned a lot when he was out but yet he sold like a gazillion records and had a little acting career going on, to. Or was it Christopher Williams that was acting. Damn. I’m not sure now. LOL!!! Anyway, I’m still feelin’ his stuff now. Almost… 25 years later??? Time. I’ve been soooooooooooooo obsessed with the passage of time lately. Looking back at what has already been and looking forward to what is coming up. I mean, I am REALLY looking forward to the future.

Today, just like when I was young, I can get stuck on a certain song and just play that song over and over and over again. Only, today, there are no grooves to wear out or tapes to stretch pop and or jam. Or those OTHER tapes to just plain old wear OUT. (Remember 8-tracks???) You may miss my many song references in my tweets or blog postings. They might be obscure or pretty well known, but randomly placed. It’s just one of those things that I like to do.

Things that I have been thinking about lately include wheels on luggage. The wheel has been around for a pretty long time. As intelligent as man is, what took us so long to put them on luggage? I’ve also wondered about neck pillows. I love, love, love my neck pillow and would rank neck pillows up there with sliced bread and…………….my tray is DISGUSTING. I mean. Gross.

*deep breath* This is a “continuation” flight (ie: milk run), so I ain’t gonna bitch too much.

Woo Sah…

Okay. Neck pillows = genius.
Nuff said about neck pillows.

Am I boring you, yet??? I am really bored. I have the Chardonnay and the water and the mind is clicking away about nothing. I’m like the black Larry David. Or is that JB Smooth??? I’d like to think it’s me. LOL!!! Well… I wish not to keep going on and on about random nothingness. The people around me are quite well behaved (as a whole) and ALL of the children are in the back of the plane. I’m always talkin’ smack about this, that and the other but it’s all in fun (for the most part) and I’m always going to try to be the good guy, in the end. Yea. I may get ugly and fly off the handle and block an idiot or two but those occasions are rare.

I enjoy life. I enjoy people and I enjoy just being me.

Thank you all again for hanging out with me and keeping me company.

See ya in Orange County and GO, YANKEES!!!!!


The NOT-SO friendly skies…

Kidding!!!

Today has been an EAZY day, so far. From the bus to the train to the plane. I even helped a VERY confused non-frequent flier through the security line today. (The kid in back of me gave me a “Good lookin’ out, man.”) The lines at Reagan were RIDICULOUS but they *were* moving. Again, with a little bit but of help from yours truly, of course!

I’m on my wayayayay to Orange County. Sunshine. Fake boobs. Orange tans. Go, Yankees. This be the week. Expectations: I have none. This year’s Yankees may just be THE most unpredictable…predictably unpredictable…team in the history of baseball, if not all of professional sports. They just can not be figured out. Must be A-Rod’s return, coupled with Jeter’s departure. Time WILL tell. I know I sure can’t.

It’s a most strange feeling, when I wonder: Am I doing okay? Am I doing AWESOME? Or do I just check off the ‘satisfactory’ box??? In this whole life thing. I can’t tell. Again, I’m still trying to figure this thing out. At the age of 48-getting-ready-turn-50. (49 is just a non-essential formality. A weigh station on my way to AARP Land, LOL!!!) In many ways, I feel like I’m getting ready to “start over”, all over, again. The remix. Or reboot. Restart. Not in a bad way. Life is just FULL of surprise. Wonderful surprises. Many surprises that can just catch you off guard, if you’re cruising through, oblivious to the signs. IF there ARE any signs. I guess no signs are what makes surprises surprises!!! LOL!!! But how DO we “expect the unexpected?”

*deep breath*

I’ve never been much of a philosopher, so pardon my pondering. I haven’t even had my first glass of wine yet and have only had two cups of coffee all day. I’m alert. A little hungry and WAY deep in thought.

Good stuff on the tube, now that Game Of Thrones is done with: Bessie & John Wick. WOW!!! OH!!! Season two of True Detective!!! That’s what I’m watching these nights. Hey! I’ve decided to give Porzingis a chance. Show me whatcha workin’ wit! LOL!!! I still say that we NEED to bring back Jeremy Lin, NOW!!!

Okay…baseball…basketball…alcohol…TV…

I’m hitting ALL of my favorite subjects today.

Hope I’m not sounding like a broken record. Did you know that you can STILL buy leisure suits??? Yup. I’m seriously thinking about one. Like…getting one. For reals. LOL!!!

Why the face??? The flight attendant gave me a “sippy cup” lid for my wine (since we hit a bit of turbulence as she started serving) and I DROPPED it!!! BUT… I’m wearing flip-flops and I’m pretty friggin’ good with my feet/toes, LOL!!! That’s the face when I’m working it out at 36,000 feet! LOL!!!


MegaBus be…

playin’ wit peeple’s emotions, sometimes! LOL!!!

Hey!!! I’m on my way up to NYC and CT, back home to DC and then it’s out to (Not So) Killa Cali to see my New. York. YACKEES…take on the Los Angeles, California Angels of Anaheim Orange County, California, LOL!!! The Phillies. Really??? REALLY!?!?! Ugh…

Hey!!! It cooled down a bit in the Capital ***BUT*** a cold front, violent thunderstorms and someone got killed out in MoCo when he hit a tree and THEN slammed into a phone pole, bringing It down on top of his car, electrifying it, causing the EMTs to hold off until the utility company could cut power. Sucks.

I’m on a train, btw. And yes, yes, yes, it’s coming. The book, that is. Sooooooooooooon. As always, my life outside of what most of you know has been ridiculously crazy and busy and taxing. I need to slow it down for a bit to get started. That’s all.

I never did talk about the NBA Finals. What was there to talk about? I was rooting for Cleveland and Cleveland lost. Phil Jackson is now hating on LeBron…piling on…even though his, our, THE New York Knicks are still stinking up the joint. STANKIN’ up the joint, with no end in sight. Someone on ESPN said yesterday that it could be 2-3 years before we see some results. But me??? I’m tired. I’m so, so, SO tired of the Knicks. They make me sick. The Yankees just make me mad, LOL!!! But… NFL time will be back soon. Like all fans of the sport, I’m still trying to figure out what that Chip Kelly character is up to! LOL!!!

Well… I’m yawning. I’ve been up. Coffee. Nap. Up. And now??? I’m feeling like another nappy nap, LOL!!! Picture time is near. Picture time is HERE.

If I am slow getting back on Kik, it’s because my biz phone does not have Kik on it and I never carry my personal phone on me anymore. So, don’t be angry. I will try to get back when I can. (I just don’t feel comfortable carrying around THREE phones, LOL!!!) I love you all. A LOT. And yes. I will download Kik onto my 6-Plus. Eventually. Until then!?!

See ya in the big city!!!

The mutha. Fuck’n. Philadelphia. Phillies. Kissa Ma Ass.


Cool Joe/Skeletons

Interesting. It’s only taken me almost 30 years to draw the connection: George Clinton’s groovy tune ‘Cool Joe’ from his “R&B Skeletons In The Closet” sound REMARKABLY similar to Stevie Wonder’s hit song ‘Skeletons’. (Does anyone remember the Skeletons music video??? LOTS of star power in that one! Both Clinton and Stevie Wonder were from Detroit and I have to wonder if both songs were recorded at United Sounds, in the Motor City, as well.

Things that make ME go “Hmmmmmmmm……….”

Well. I’ve been leaning heavy on the mid-late 1970’s R&B and funk grooves lately, but trips to Detroit tend to do that for me. To me. Whichever. What everrrrrrrrr, LOL!!! I’m on an American Airlines flight right now and I am VERY unhappy. They messed up the handle on one of my suitcases and I still have to call those mother…lovers to have them credit my miles out to Cali to my frequent flyer account. When I booked my flight back to the east coast, I discovered something very interesting: My new American FF# isn’t recognized on American’s site BUT if I log into my OLD US Air frequent flyer account, with my OLD US Air FF#, BAM!!! I’m in BUT the number shows up as my NEW American FF#. VERY confusing! But the ticket agent at the counter in Milwaukee told me that American numbers were issued but U.S. miles still have to be “moved over” via calling.

OUTSTANDING!!!

Yes. I’m being facetious.

Right now, I’m vibing off of Heatwave’s ‘Always And Forever’ (which is at or near the top every “Best Slow Jam/Quiet Storm of All Time” list, out there.) It’s a TIMELESS classic! It’s from 1976’s “Too Hot To Handle” album, which also contains the hit ‘Boogie Nights’, as well! 1976. The year I first saw the DC monuments, visited the Smithsonian and the year my dad bought my mother her very first Cadillac. It was a dark metallic green, white “half vinyl top” tuna boat with every option known to man on it! $12,000 was a LOT of money for a new car in 1976, believe that! Memories… Lake Valley. Trips up to Newark and into New York City to see uncles, aunts, great uncles and aunts and cousins. LONG trips to North Carolina to see the grands, more cousins, uncles, aunts and great uncles and aunts AND my maternal great grandparents. Yes. They both reached the 100 year mark with ease and were mentally sharp until the very end.

Those HOT summers on Tobacco Road.

*deep breath*

GOD. Where DO the years go to???

THIS ASIAN GUY SITTING BEHIND ME IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!!! FUCK!!!!! I MAY HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING SOON!!!!! UNLESS I GET MY BOTTLE OF “JESUS HELP ME KEEP FROM WHUPPIN’ THIS MUTHAFUKKAZ ASS” SOON!!!!!

I ordered a 1/2 bottle of Chardonnay but he did not have any big bottles chilled. DAMN. What kind of FUCKING operation are you running, American FUCKING airlines!?!?! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck………. Me and this wack ass joke of a fucking airline ain’t gonna make it. Delta on CPT. Southwest building a tower to the heavens with iPads and…that’s it. The only airlines I fly these days suck. Every. Single. One. No exceptions.

Donald Trump is running for president. If I had Trump money, the first thing I would buy is a private jet. The second thing I would buy would be a pro sports team. I sure nuff wouldn’t be wasting the shit on a run for president. Trump. Meg Whitman. Mitt Romney. All billionaires who thought they could buy their way into public office. Newsflash: If you’re an asshole? You’re an asshole and no amount of spending is going to make you NOT be an asshole.

He came back to tell me that his putting my stuff on ice now. Please help me, Jesus, Lord, Baby Jesus, Jon Snow, Riley Cooper and Holy Ghost…oh, wait. Jon Snow is dead. He ain’t helpin’ nobody. DAMN. I was like… Well. I’m not even surprised by anyone’s death anymore on Game Of Thrones. Like The Walking Dead, Boardwalk Empire and The Sopranos (oh! Don’t forget SouthLAnd and Sons Of Anarchy!), no one is safe. Death comes quickly. Main characters, bad or good, favorite characters, innocent children, whoever…whenever…wherever. BANG!!! (Or BAM!!! in the case of Game Of Thrones, as guns weren’t invented yet.) You’re dead.

Janky. Airlines. Cause me. Grief.

Okay, so I guess LeBron’s on track to be MVP even though the Cavs will in all likelihood lose the series.

Awesome.

Well. He’s still the king in my book.

I had to say something to the guy in back of me and now I’m shaking mad. No alcohol. No way to punch him his face without facing federal charges.

WINE!!!!! YES!!!!!


Now I feel bad…

I raised my voice a little bit higher than a regular conversational tone and even though I was facing the back, I think I woke the guy up who is sitting in front of me. Shitty airline behavior is definitely contagious.

I really do HATE flying. Not the physics of being 38,000ft above the earth. Not the crossing of multiple time zones in a single leg. (I’m SO over jet lag, unless I’m going to Asia or Europe.) Not the fear or crashing or turbulence or turbulence that leads to crashing. I hate the PEOPLE around me. Almost all of them are people that I know I would hate if I met them in real life. I am sure of it.

Give me the train any day of the week. Any week of the month. Any time of the year. Or a tour bus. I could dig a tour bus. I could REALLY dig a tour bus. OMG. I know… Argh!!! No!!! LOL!!! Uh Uh… LMAO!!!

Alcohol make EVERYTHING better! Except your liver. I’m pretty sure alcohol is not good for your liver.

Some days, I wake up and I’m like: One day I am going to die and it’s going to SUCK and then I’m like: How am I going to know it sucks if I’m not around? LOL!!! And then I’m like: It will suck for those left behind. And then, I’m like: It will suck not to be around anymore and THEN I’m like: I really want to be around for what??? Flying cars??? We were supposed to have that shit by the year 2000. That shit came and went and we didn’t get no fucking flying cars. We did get cars that parallel park themselves. But I am TOO much of a control freak to let a fucking car park itself. What if that shit malfunctions and you’re in LA or CT and it crashes into a Bentley or a Maybach? Fuck. That. Maybach. Think about it…

Story time: One time, I was at the mall and this chick TAPS the back of my IROC, splitting the rubber bumper. I tell her that it’s a tear in the rubber and not to worry about it. I went to the dealership for a new bumper and they said $700. I said “Just repair it.” And they said they couldn’t. The whole bumper needs to be replaced. I told them that the bumper (underneath) was just fine. I just need the rubber part. I’m no fucking dummy. My dad??? Pretty fucking good diesel mechanic. I had been to a few junkyards. I’m not STUPID. He says: “I know that. It’s $700 for the rubber part and that doesn’t include paint.” LMAO!!!!! Um, yes. Do not worry about it. Sorry to waste your time. The hotties at the club ain’t going to be looking at my bumper that closely, LOL!!!

Tangent!

LOL!!!

Okay: I’m back from the bathroom. The aisle seat guy next to me went at the same time as the Asian guy in back of me, so I took the time to pack up and slide out and DAMN. The Asian guy is friggin’ tall. Again. I feel kinda bad. But fuck that. If you need THAT much leg room??? Buy a first class ticket! Or an exit row seat! Remember when those seats were free??? LOL!!! Not any more!!! If you thought “Tall Asian??? There’s no such thing!!!” FUCK YOU, RACIST!!!!! LMAO!!! I lived in Japan for a year and saw some leggy Japanese girls that towered over me. Of course, I am 5ft6, but that’s beside the point, LOL!!! I could be accused of the same (stereotyping), assuming that the Asian guy behind me can afford first class (because he is Asian and ALL Asians are made of money!) or an exit row seat, which costs like $89 extra. He *is* young and maybe he’s a student or actually works for a living and doesn’t have rich parents.

FUCK.

One of the law-abiding citizens (which is code word for white people) beside me…put out a silent one that is KILLING my olfactory region right now. But I’m not trippin’. I hear it’s not good for you to hold your farts in.

Is it too late to add a disclaimer??? LOL!!! This entry may border TMI territory and MAY offend white people and Asians but NEWSFLASH: Any non-Black person reading this, KNOWS me and KNOWS that I am THE most non-racist person in the world. EVER. Even black folks have accused me over the years for being and/or acting white because I have a pretty good control over the English language. As did my parents. Well… My mom is still with us. She’s still VERY intelligent and STILL has her lead foot and she’s pushing 80, as I approach 50. Don’t get it twisted. We be uppity black folks in my family. My dad was born and raised in North Carolina and had NO southern accent because of all of the places he lived all over the world.

Wait… Back on track…

Rachael what’s her face. From the Spokane NAACP. I caught some paparazzi styled news (video) footage of her leaving her car and entering her house, last night. It probably came from TMZ. Her booty??? Shit is LEGIT. She was wearing gym shorts and a tank top. Black Girl Body. She gets a pass from me. She black. She has a black man and black children and worked very hard to do whatever the fuck the NAACP does these days, LOL!!! She Black!!! LMAO!!! I have enjoyed the last several days of the #AskRachel tweets and the new hashtag that escapes me, but if I saw her on the streets or in the club??? I would tell her that she is okay in my book. She is not likely to run into me anytime soon because a.) I have not been to Spokane in 10 years, b.) I friggin’ HATE Spokane and c.) I have entirely TOO MUCH SHIT to stress over than some white girl pretending to be a sista who is CLEARLY mental because… Who does shit like that!?!?! LMAO!!!!! But if it was an alternate universe? In another place? In another life????? Yea. I’d be trynna hit that, LOL!!!

She Bad like Michael Jackson, LMAO!!!!!

d.) I’m too fucking old for the club! LOL!!! Back the truck up: My sons are older than most of these young whipper snappers that follow/dig me on twitter, Instagram & tumblr! LOL!!! Be not deceived: I’m a kid at heart but will be 49 in September, son! LMAO!!!

Okay. Put this one in the books. I think I have an hour until my next stopover. DC. Layover. Sorry. Dinner and more wine.

Tomorrow and the next couple of nights??? Connecticut and then??? Home to DC. Back on the west coast at the end of the month. Yankees series. OC. A yearly ritual.
Same Bat Hilton. Same Bat Summer. Don’t think because I haven’t seen the Yanks this year, haven’t tweeted about the Yanks much this year, skipped spring training this year and haven’t blogged about or even BEEN to a Yanks game this year, that I have given up on my New York Yankees. I still LOVE my Yankees (and Knicks, ugh. Pass me that barf bag, will you) and have a whole lot of shit going on in my personal life these days. Family. Lawyers. Other pressing shit. Shit that has me flying back and forth and forth and back.

It’s called Life. And Life is a wonderful thing. In addition to being a magazine that nobody reads anymore. LOL!!!

BTW: My book is coming and I will probably be sharing more and more of stuff about myself in my blog that will not make it into the book. I’ll continue to share more & more, that is. Stuff about my personal life without exposing my family or opening me up to psycho stalkers.

Now playing: Lakeside – Special.

Reminds me of a woman I once dated who was pure evil. Didn’t stop me from falling in love with her, though. We started seeing each other as another sista that worked in our building (who worked for Capitol Records), hit me up with all of my favorite Lakeside and David Bowie albums on CD, AS…wait… BEFORE they were even reissued! She was a sweet girl! The one who worked for Capitol. LOL!!! Not my girl. She wasn’t even a nice person. But that’s either here not there. Or is it NEITHER here nor there???

Hmmmmmmmmmmm…………….


Armani Exchange & the Airbus A321S

Okay. What does one have to do with the other?
What is the connection?
Is there even a connection?

Ummmmmm….. YEA!!! LOL!!!
Wait: πŸ™‹πŸΎπŸ’πŸΎπŸ™†πŸΎπŸ™…πŸΎπŸ’πŸΎπŸ™†πŸΎπŸ™‹πŸΎ
Black emoji cons… Emojis

Yes, well, at first I was like: “What The Fuck!?!?!
This world is gettin’ too fucking PC. I can use the white (read: yellow) emojis and still feel good about myself” but you know what??? I rarely…and I mean RARELY used emojis anyway, so I didn’t give a shit. (I’m kinda drunk, so please excuse the potty mouth.) Now that I’m on that iPhone 6 Plus ish, I’m like: “Hey, world!!! I’m on a plane!!! ✈️” LOL!!! And I got my girl above doin’ the Macarena and shit, LMAO!!!

Now: The first leg of my flight was like the flight from hell. But then again, what else is new? Hood rats. Hillbillies. Thugs. (Yea, I said thugs.) Ghetto ass white folks and a whole lot of people who act like they never been on an airplane before. “Keep it trashy, NEVER classy!” An S80. What the FUCK is an S80!?!?! I’m guessing its some kind of McDonald Douglas creation. The interior reminded me of a 1976 Ford Granada that my parents almost bought back in 1976!!! LoL!!! A glass or Merlot made it tolerable. That was MKE to DFW.

DFW to LAX = HEAVEN. An Airbus A321S with leather seats and electrical outlets. And 1/2 bottles of wine and Deion Sanders up in first class, LOL, holdin’ it DOWN!!! I told a friend before I boarded the plane that I knew it was going to be a good flight just by scanning the crowd. I can tell these things. And that was BEFORE I saw Prime Time! LOL!!! He has that big million dollar smile and was laughing as he was talking to someone on the phone. The stuffy, old, well dressed white guy next to him looked TOO serious. I’m like “Muthafucka, that’s muthafuck’n Deion Sanders sittin’ next to you!” LOL!!! What-evz, dude, LOL!!! Yea… Neon Deion. I’m a Falcons fan, so I’m stoked.

Anyways, I’m sitting two rows behind and across from a younger black? Latino? Couple… Both he and she are in Armani Exchange gear! Casual, yet, cool. You all who know me know that I’M the cat that keeps Georgio Armani afloat, LOL!!! What’s unusual is that she is like 6 feet tall and BIG. Like. Offensive lineman big. OMG. But she look goooooooooooooood, LOL!!! Hashtag, You Go Girl! In your AX sweat suit! And HE has an Armani baseball cap on.

Well… It’s still winter in Milwaukee. So, if you’re thinking of vacationing in Brew City, you *might* want to wait until NEXT month to go there, hit the art museum, take the brewery tours and getcha grub on! Foodie. Destination. City. Certified. By. ME.

On a serious note: What was I going to say? DAMN. OH!!! A book will be written. It’s time. When I said the other day that I woke up inspired, I really did wake up inspired. I am only saddened by the fact that I could not and CAN NOT share EVERYTHING that I do with my parents. My dad passed on March 4th of last year and my mother still resides in NJ, in the house that I grew up in. If you’ve been following my blog or Instagram from the beginning??? You have seen my childhood home.

But, you know what?

I live a good life and despite all of my bitching and moaning, I would not trade the life for anyone else’s life. Even Deion Sanders. Hell, his teammate Andre Rison had a good life and his mansion got burned down to the ground by his psychotic live-in girlfriend. And he pleaded to the judge to show her mercy. But I digress.

Wheels down, LA!!!!

I love you all! Hugs. Kisses and more hugs and kisses! πŸ˜˜β€οΈπŸ’‹πŸ˜˜β€οΈπŸ’‹πŸ™‹πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎπŸ’₯✈️😍

LMAO!!!!!

See ya tomorrow! In Palm Springs!!! LOL!!!


Heading up that Hudson River line!

In the words of a song…

Hey!!! I am Motown bound on the Lakeshore Limited and I. Feel. Fantastic!!! The fact that the Cavs won another thriller last night, didn’t hurt either! I’m down with The King! For now. Forever. Hashtag… Bandwagon Nation. Nuff said.

I had Dunkin Donuts today, at Penn Station because lately, I’ve been eating and drinking before trains and gettin’ caught up in my own stuff that I’ve almost missed a couple of trains, LOL!!! Okay: Dunkin at Penn Station??? $14.50!!! Surely there was a mistake??? I looked at the receipt. Nope. No mistake. Welcome to New York City.

What is there to say? Let’s see. I’m feeling inspired. You might eve. Some might even say rejuvenated. Hmmmmmmmmm…….. Maybe it’s the haircut, LOL!!! OR. NOT.

Well. It’s about that time. Wine Time. Or not. I haven’t decided yet, LOL!!! Decisions… Indecision.

I would like to thank EVERYONE for the LOVE and best wishes. Right back atcha. Have a wonderful evening and enjoy the rest of your week!

Now playing: Paul Young – I’m Gonna Tear Tour Playhouse Down (originally done by Ann Peebles)

Hashtag? Memphis Soul.

I like that! πŸ™‹πŸΎπŸ™…πŸΎπŸ™†πŸΎπŸ’πŸΎ


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