I’m ALMOST done bitchin’

…but not quite!

The Yankees: Teams that don’t play like playoff teams, don’t need to be going to any kind of playoffs. Just look at the Nationals. EVERYONE picked them to win it all this year. Where are they now? Throwing haymakers at each other in the dugout like a Floyd Money Mayweather fight or some shit.

No playoffs. No series. No one-and-done. Stay your multi-millionaire asses at home like the rest of us NON baseball playing fuckers, drinking beer and talking about how you could have done better. Which is a LIE because if you could have, you would have and you’d be going to the PLAYOFFS!!! Instead of imploding on National tv like a delusional, half-cocked, mentally unstable BITCH on The Bachelor after finding out that she ain’t gettin’ no rose. Well, if you weren’t so wide-eyed and crazy in lust, acting all stalkery, MAYBE you could have made through another week! LOL

The Angels: Mike Trout goes out there EVERY TIME and gives it all he has. He leaves NOTHING on the field. Some of those other cats he plays with, though??? I ain’t so sure about. They are sketchy. Shady posers and slackers. They don’t want, nor do they need any postseason play. Postseason your ass home and play ball with your children, in the yard. Where you should have stayed. Baseball doesn’t need you. While you are going stretches, waiting for shit to pop off??? There’s a dude on the Houston Astros BLASTING balls out of the park with ONE ARM!!! LMAO!!! HE’S the guy I want on MY team!!!

Derrick Rose: What can I say about him that hasn’t already been said. He was Born Under A Bad Sign. He should change his name to Freddie King. Or was that Albert King??? ANYWAY, you know what I’m talking about, LOL!!! Schlep Rock personified. He doesn’t have what it takes.

I’m almost home now. Thanks, DC Metro!!!

I’m being facetious, LOL!!! You TOTALLY suck!!!


OR maybe I’m feeling weird because…

The Yankees are on the verge of disappointing me for another season. This losing shit is really becoming a pattern. IF I was a billionaire, I would surely own a professional sports team of some kind. MLB. NBA. NFL. Not soccer/football, though. Don’t hate. I’m American. We are very sloooooooooooooowwww catching on.

Tangent time: Rocky Mount always looks like a ghost town. Abandoned storefronts. No one on the streets. It would be a great place to shoot a horror movie. For those of you who don’t follow me on twitter, I have decided to write a screenplay. It’s a science fiction/comedy set in the future. The government rounds up ALL OF THE STUPID PEOPLE on the planet and herds them into pens, forcing them on to rocket ships and send them to Pluto. Pretty cool premise, huh? If only the solution was that easy.

The Atlanta Falcons are 3-0 and THAT should make me VERY excited, HOWEVER… The Falcons have a history of disappearing into thin air when it comes to the playoffs. Speaking of playoffs, I see the Cubbies are IN!!! I’m pretty sure that my grandparents were children the last time the Cubs were relevant. I’m probably wrong. But I don’t think so. I’ll be watching them closely. The Mets are IN!!! I will NOT be watching them however. Colour me uninterested. NOT interested.

This is the second pleasant Amtrak ride after that HORRENDOUS trip from Chi to NYC on the Late For Sure Limited. I don’t know if I’m ever going to do that train again. I may. But I may not. Recently found out that MegaBus is now doing Chi to Toledo and Toledo to NYC. I think that’s how they’re working it. Anyhooz…

I know that I’ve been in a bitchy mood lately. Grownup folk’s kinda stressful shit. Constant stress. Change brings on stress when you’re a person who is very used to a life without change. Routine. Military. Television. Banking. Routine. And then comes change. And we do have to adapt or perish. And I am NOT going to allow the shit that is constantly rolling this way to bury me. Just call me Stevie Winwood, ’cause I’mma Roll With It, baby!!! LOL

To the people who are buying the Kobe to the Knicks shit that Phil Jackson is selling, DON’T. He is an old troll who likes to fuck with people’s heads. The Knicks are a piece of shit, hot mess, embarrassment and a perineal (did I spell that right???) LOSER but the New York press LOVES drama and they’re eating that shit up like it’s the signature dish at the hottest new eatery in Midtown Manhattan. But the New York sports fans are much smarter than that. We are going to take a pass on that. Just like we ran D’Antoni out of town, so will go Phil & Fish and their 15,000 fucking rings. Like Janet Jackson asked: What Have You Done For Me Lately???

Well. I think that’s all for now.

The only other thing that I can’t stop bitching about is DC Metro but I do believe that I have something very, very, VERY special for them. I will unveil that surprise soon enough.


No more complaints

…from the peanut gallery.

I can see the DC metro area, aka the DMV, aka that wet, humid, sticky place I like to call Mary Land. No. I don’t really call it that. I’m just being silly.

Ah, THIS is “Exhibit A” to my This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things rant from the other day, LOL!!!

But, I ain’t complaining. Just an observation. Well, I was complaining. Now, I’m showing a picture to drive the whole “this is why we can’t have nice things” point home. That’s all.

I am totally blown away that my flight from ABQ to ATL and my connecting flight to BWI were both on time, though. It was all right!!! Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think for a minute that I will ever be able to trust any airline, train or bus to get me where I need to be in a timely manner BUT it’s always a nice surprise when things work out the way they are supposed to work out. You know. The plan, man.

Well!!! We are coming in for another safe landing, hallelujah, thank you Baby Jose and Baby Jesus and Baby Jessica and Baby Shaneequah, as well!!! It feels SO good to be home!!!

Delta Airlines

The way I have been attacking airlines (AND our national railroad… Amtrak) lately, I’m guessing you clicked on this expecting to see me in full-on tirade mode, but, SURPRISE!!!!!

Customer service agent at the ticket counter was VERY friendly! As were the ones at the gate. And the flight attendants are quite pleasant AND we took off from the Albuquerque Sunport ON TIME. ABQ doesn’t put nearly as many planes in the air as DCA, LGA, LAX or ORD, I’m sure but you know what??? I’ll take these good flying experiences wherever I can get them.


Hey!!! Speaking of Kudos: I caught the first half of that Broncos-Chiefs game and OMG… πŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎ Give it up for Father Time, ladies and gentleman, Peyton Manning leaves me scratching my head again and again. Gives THIS old guy hope for the future of old guys playing a young guy’s game. Funny. I don’t even have a problem calling myself old but I often ridicule “kids” on Tumblr who like to refer to me as/call me old, LOL!!!

Please. Step. Off. Of. My. Lawn.

If you are wondering where I am headed, I’m headed HOME. H. Oh. Emmy. Home. DC. The Watergate City. Since this election cycle is in full swing, I’m going to try to make it into the city and do some goofy, funny, political, selfie shenanigans. Maybe I will start with that tacky ass MLK monument. I ***DO NOT*** approve of the Dr. Martin Luther King Memorial. It’s tacky and half-assy.

Hashtag: Dood Retire Already.

Kobe Bryant. Shaking. My. Head. Father Time is undefeated. Hang ’em up and have some dignity. Your body called it quits two? Three seasons ago??? Yet you persist. Like a persistent fucking gnat. Or a nagging cough that continues to linger long after the cold has gone. Like… Dood. Make way. This ain’t your game anymore. Make room for the next generation of superstars. Anthony Davis. Kyrie Irving. Stephen Curry. We want to see THEM shine. Not you. You have FIVE NBA championships under your belt. You don’t need any more. You’re not *getting* any more. No. More. Rings.

BTW: Corporate letters??? They work. When done properly. I wigged out on Amtrak over something that was kind of stupid and trivial that went down on my trip out to NYC on the Lakeshore Limited last week and I’ll be damned if I didn’t get an apology, a travel voucher and their reassurance that they were going to talk to the…woman…that pissed me off (as well as her superiors.) I don’t like spending my hard earned money with airlines, hotels and bus lines (and Amtrak, who I have ALWAYS been a proponent of, mind you) and getting shit on in return for my continued loyalty.

I’m taking a few weeks off to start on my book because I promised the world, as well as myself, a book. Don’t know where to start but I’m going to start cranking and see what comes out. Hopefully, it will live up to what I am hyping it up to be. We will see.

The Noo. Yawk. Yankees. As everyone who knows me and/or follows me on twitter knows, I’m not feeling very confident about our chances in the quest for a place in the postseason. Yea, we may get into that one game wild card game, but do we REALLY have a chance? Yea, uh, no. Hashtag? Better Luck Next Year.

So, the GOP Clown Car keeps on rolling. It reminds me of that Jamie Fox movie where he plays the homeless musical genius and when they flashed back to his childhood in Detroit, you saw that old car engulfed in flames, coasting down the street??? LOL!!! That’s what the Republicans are offering this next time around. Trump is EXCITING but is he reeeeeeeeeeeally going to get people to come out and cast their votes for him, come Election Day??? I’m starting to believe the conspiracy theorists that he just may be a plant, inserted into the race by the Democrats to fuck up ANY chance the GOP has of winning the White House in 2016.

Speaking of clown cars: How about that Rex Ryan!?!?! LOL!!! I haven’t seen Upstate New York this fired up since the days of old. That was the late-1980’s/early 90’s. WOW!!! Do they have what it takes or nah? The correct answer is… Bueller? Bueller? Buuuuuuuhuellerrr?????

Tom Brady.

The correct answer is Tom Brady.

On to the Lightning Round…

I have soooooooooooooooo much to say!!! Bristol Palin. The New York Knicks. Kim Davis. So many people to talk shit about, so little time. That being said, I will probably sign off now. Knowing how I am on these long-ass flights? I’ll be back.

This loooooooooooooong flight.

The good: It’s non-stop.

The bad: It’s non-stop.

And THIS is why we CAN’T have nice things, ladies and gents. No matter HOW MANY SIGNS you post that say DON’T FLUSH SHIT down the toilet??? Twelve times out of ten, some DIM-WITTED PERSON is going to flush some shit DOWN THE MUTHAFUCKIN’ TOILET.

Janky. Hanky. Ghetto. Ass. Clowns.

You can bet your whole paycheck on that shit.


American Airlines

Their new motto:

“We Never Stop Finding Ways To Make Your Flight The Crappiest Flight Of Your Life!”


“We Get On Your LAST Fucking Nerve! Dat’s Whut We Do!”

I don’t even want to say what had me give this flight attendant an eye roll for the ages. And just like United, this shitty experience started at the ticket counter. Like MOST shitty airlines. It’s a race to the bottom of the proverbial barrel.

And it’s not the physics behind flying that makes me hate flying so much. It’s the airlines. And where the fuck are my m&m’s???

Another American Airlines FAIL, being recorded for the record books.

They Call Me Mr. Cranky Pants!

I’ve been in “a mood” lately and it’s mainly because nothing has gone according to plan for the last two weeks or so. A family member just pointed out to me that I’ve been kind of an asshole ever since my birthday, which was on September 4.

I celebrated it in Milwaukee by having WAY too much to drink. Just like I used to spend birthdays back in the day when I used to CELEBRATE birthdays. But this birthday *was* just a little. bit. different. This (49th) birthday FELT just a little bit different. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Just like my not being able to put my finger on a LOT of things that seem “off” to me.

I don’t know.

I don’t really FEEL old, although when I look at 30-somethings, I think how they are in their primes. Prime time to make money. Prime time to have children. Prime time to whip their physical being into tip top shape. The world is literally at their feet. Where 20-something individuals are still trying to find themselves. Most of them are, anyway. I have one in my family (two actually, counting the significant other) that’s like 20-something barreling towards 60. The “I want the best of EVERYTHING and I need that shit delivered to me two days ago. Thank yooooooooou!!!” generation.

Jeez Thelma & Louise.

I ***am*** old!!!

Maybe that’s why I am feeling all crazy and shit. All cranky and shit. I lost my dad last year. If the natural of order is followed, mom is next. Then, it’s my turn at bat. Sister…

*deep breath*

The life. First there’s birth. Then, it’s life. Then some more births. Then we have deaths. And there is LOTS of living and dying and births and celebrations and mourning and marriage and college and babies and vacation and taxes and all kinds of drama, followed by more shit.

And then…???

My head explodes.

As much as I like to focus and pontificate and reflect and try to philosophize and figure all of this out? I have a life to live. ONE life to live. Unless I come back. LOL!!! Reincarnation. Throw that into the cart. Alone with that bag of almond m&m’s over thurr.

Life is way to deep for me to even start to try to figure this shit out.

BTW, I’m rocking Team Middle Seat like I own it today. On September 11. 9/11. And there’s turbulence, too. Crazy, huh? Not the kind that makes you question your religious affiliation(s), but the kind that holds up service. I. Needs. Coffee. Now.

Well, I’m really mixing it up on my playlist today: funk, 80’s, disco, reggae, all kinds of stuff. And I’m yawning. So, I’m off. For now.

And I did promise you a book and I have every intention on delivering on that promise before I retired for my dirt nap.

Believe that!

Now playing? “Do It ‘Til You’re Satisfied.”
T-Connection??? Let me look! LOL

Oh, damn!!! B.T. Express!!! Shit!!!

Points deducted…


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