Delta Airlines aka YOUR Bag!!!

I feel the overwhelming urge to attack them in full force. I’ve just started using my miles and can use them all up with ease and bail to American. But I ***HATE*** American and I ***LOVE*** Delta’s frequent flyer program. But, damn. They’re late ALL THE TIME. Making ME late ALL THE TIME and last night, in a classic “Where the fuck are we? LaGuardia!?!” move, they had us running from carousel to carousel, looking for our bags and then after we ran back and forth, back and forth again… ALL bags from EVERY incoming flight were all being dumped onto one carousel and the crowd surrounding the carousel was…well… CROWDED. I nearly yanked my arm out of my socket trying to get my bag after excusing myself. FAIL!!! The weight of the other bags prevented me from successfully extracting it, so I ran trying to meet the bag further along and couldn’t even see through the solid wall of people so I push through the crowd and this brutha says “Say excuse me” and I just give him (without even looking at him) give him a half ass “Sorry” and then??? I don’t see my bag. “FUCK.” When a guy taps me on my shoulder and said “We have your bag back there.”

These nice samaritans pulled my shit. Actually, some big jock, and he says “I thought you were going to wait for me to get it and you took off!” LOL!!! Right on!!! LOL!!! I thanked him and I was on my way to wait forever and a day for the hotel shuttle.

Did I mention LAX is a ZOO!?!?!

The other night, after arriving about an hour and change late into MKE, we had to wait almost another hour for our luggage.

The price I pay to save a buck.
But with the aggravation…am I really saving???


More times than not…

when people stare at me and shoot me peculiar looks (that I sometimes read as contempt), they end up talking to me and it’s ALWAYS about the DAMN YANKEES!!!!! YES, I’M A FAN!!!!! LOL!!!!!

A-Rod: YES!!!!! We have welcomed him back with open arms!!! We. Need. Help. Can you hit??? Apply within! Can you pitch??? Apply within! Can you play shortstop??? Again, apply within! WE NEED HELP. There is entirely too much tradition for me to trash the pinstripes. I will NEVER trash my baseball team. Express my disappointment in the way the Steinbrenner boys are running things? Yup. Talk shit about my team? No. I believe in the 27 championships. I believe in the tradition. And I believe that “you can’t win ’em all” and I’m NOT gonna sweat our hiatus from post season play. The Yanks are just taking a break. That’s all. LOL!!!

Okay. The Knicks. Whatever the FUCK Derek Fisher is using, but it in a bottle and sell it. Buy one and get a real live unicorn and a vial of fairy dust at 66.666% off! Man. He thinks the Knicks can flip over night??? LMAO!!!!! Yea. Uh. No. If they’re trying to find people to run the fuckin’ triangle, they’re going to be trying for a very, very, very, VERY long time. That shit is dead. Like John Lennon, athletic shoes that flash strobe lights when you walk and the notion that one day “the south shall rise again”, it’s OVER. Kill it. Let go. Let it go. No more triangle talk.

No more triangle talk.
No more triangle talk.

Man. This beer got me talkin’ mad shit, LOL!!!

Warning: This installment may contain profanity. I should have warned you before but I didn’t think I would get so emotional about this.

[wipes away a tear]

My teams suck.

And, yet again, I’ve been drinking AND I am going to be in the middle seat BACK to LA.

Oh, joy!!!


Hello! Hello!!! HELLOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

It’s been some month! And the month is not even half over yet. I’m here. I’m there. I’m EVERYWHERE!!!!! (Except for Miami, LOL!!!)

Quick note: If you contact me and never hear anything back, I am either a.) EXXXTREMELY busy or b.) you’re giving off a creepy vibe. I will say this: The iPhone 6 has the ability to block people and I soooooooooooo love having the ability to block people! BLOCKED!!! No more creepy voicemails. Until the NEXT asshole decides to call.

Delta: HATE that their late all. the. time. If you follow me on twitter, you already know that I’m blaming their woes on black folks. Respect for the clock. Respect for your passengers’ time. It took a fucking hour to get our bags the other night in MKE and there was no Delta employee within 20 miles of baggage claim and no announcements until well after the 1/2 hour mark and then and only then, did the snot nosed employee come out of witness protection to let us know that he didn’t know what was going on.

Delta: LOVE their frequent flier program! I just booked my flight from LAX to home (DC Reagan) last night using miles and it was quick, easy, painless. JUST LIKE SOUTHWEST. This is going to make my breakup with American (who are in the final stages of absorbing my long-time favorite US Airways) so much easier! ;) I *love* breaking up with airlines who piss me the fuck off and then trashing them on the Internet! LOL!!!

Delta: LOVE the new Boeing B737-900ER!!! I’m a little late to the party on this one because when I did a twitter search, I discovered tweets dating back about a month with people loving the whole charging their phone on the place thing! What are they the only ones using this plane??? Maybe the money they save by basing themselves in a right-to-work state gives them the extra coin buy all the newest gadgets! LOL!!!

But seriously… Delta needs to work on their whole being on time thing.

Show and tell and I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go!

See ya in the angel’s city TONIGHT.
Home to The Watergate City Weds morn.
NYC & CT next weekend.
Boston & Providence, the following weekend.

LOVE. PEACE and POMADE!!!!! ;)


I’m like…stuck in the middle…

Literally. Team Middle Seat. And one of the people I’m sitting between is all up in a brutha’s airspace. But you know what? It’s all good. Because life is good. You want clichés, you say??? I got clichés!

Yankees. BAM!!! 1-1, out the gate. That’s .500. I’ll take .500. But 14-63??? That’s a bit hard to take. It’s a struggle, being a NYC sports fan these days. The struggle is real. Believe that.

Television: Game of Thrones is BACK!!! This Sunday!!! A to the men, thanks baby Jeez and pass the Patron. We are in for another treat. I am going to Milwaukee for the weekend (with a possible appearance in Chicago) and then it’s BACK to SoCal. Time to make the donuts.

Been a while since you’ve heard me say that, huh? I know, I know: That’s SO 2012, LOL!!! Man, speaking of… I was looking at my early Instagram pics this morning, reliving those old epic, non-stop road trips and I was like “WOW.” I have seen every single state in the Lower 48, except for North Dakota and Montana, over and over and over again. And yet, I *still* have sooooooooooooo many places in the US on my bucket list: Cultural “Must Do” kinda places and restaurants and other kitschy spots and such.

But………………………..

I’m slowing down. Winding down. I’m not done yet, yet I am settling down. Not settle in a BAD way but… WOW.

I just gave the flight attendant my almost finished wine “glass” and asked for a refill…of…water, LOL!!! He’s said (and it was RIGHT at the time I too noticed it) “You gave me the wrong glass!” And we laughed! I replied “It’s all good!” God, I got SO much shit on my mind these days. [The cup on the right is my watered down Chardonnay.] Should I drink it? Fuck yea!!! I paid $8.00 for that bottle!!! LOL!!! Hashtag: Ghetto As Fuck.

LMAO!!!!!

I just poured the watered down wine into the empty cup of ice. It has a *hint* of…well…yea… Ghetto. Speaking of ghetto: I would like to publicly apologize to the country ass brutha in the black Jordan sweats that I jumped in his shit because I thought he was cuttin’ the baggage check line. He replied that he was already in line and that I should have seen him because he was the only black person in line. WHO THE FUCK AM I?!?!? CHOPPED LIVER????? I’m black too! Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettt……. Oh! And some chubby Indian kid was wilding out on TSA about confusion regarding the line. Boy, don’t trip! This is LAX. It’s confusing (and ghetto as fuck) but people have been killed here and LAPD is all over the place and they LOVE to shoot first and ask questions when your body is at the county morgue with a toe tag on it. But you obviously don’t live here and clearly don’t get it.

Police shootings, speaking of: A broken tail light = pushing up daisies in North Charleston South FUCKIN’ Carolina. If it wasn’t for the cat that was walking to work and shot that video, yet ANOTHER cop would have gotten away with the cold blooded murder. White cop. Black male. And everyone who knows me??? Knows that I am the most color blind person out there. (Did you see in the last paragraph where I jumped a black man’s shit and he jumped MY shit right back because I didn’t not notice that he was the only other black man in the line of 200-and-some people???) I don’t give passes. You’ve seen me rip my peeps for being hella ghetto and even side with cops on occasion in police involved shootings but maaaaaaaaaaaaan, catchin’ 5 hot ones in the back while you’re doin’ your best Carl Lewis while running AWAY from the cop!?!?! That shit ain’t right. And then the dirty cop tried to FRAME him afterwards. Damn. Did you see the video??? Officer Unfriendly was taking target practice on that dude, straight up.

*deep breath*

I’m done.

I’ve cursed more than I have in a while.
I’ve vented.
I’ve hopefully entertained you.

I’m done.

Now playing: Tom Browne’s Funkin’ For Jamaica.

See ya in Minneapolis! And if you’re reading this and you’re in MSP??? Join me at the nearest bar where the Delta flights are and I will buy you a drink, LOL!!! It may get me in trouble but FUCK IT. Life is very short and you only live once.

P.S. The dude next to me??? He’s snoring his ASS OFF!!!!! LMAO!!!!!


BIG NEWZ!!!!!

But like all big news stories in my life, I’m not sure if I should share with the world or keep this one “in the family.” Family, meaning my immediate family. As many, if not most of you know, I moved to Maryland this past fall to be closer to my family. My biological family: My relatives. Blood.

Well, my life, since then has been changing a lot faster than what *I* can keep up and those of you who know me (personally, meaning on a face-to-face basis), know that I am a HIGH ENGERY individual. No coke. No speed. No meth. Just naturally energetic. Well… Changes are what forced me to cancel my recent Caribbean trip. I canceled a Caribbean trip last year, too. AND a trip to Hawaii. Now that I think about it. Shit that SEEMED major to me yesterday, no longer strikes me as being relevant. In the LEAST. Yea. EPIC changes.

God. Hints. I’m eluding to something BIG that I want to share but some shit should remain private. VERY private. I don’t know. Just between me and my peepz. My family. Which (again) those of you who know me best, know that family is soooooooooooo important.

*sigh*

I come from a very, very, VERY close knit family. Even the casual viewer of my blog probably have figured that one out. Well, I have hinted “retirement” for a while and *may* have mentioned my dad’s passing and no one who has ever seen my twitter, Instagram or blog has ever hesitated to call me hoity toity, uppity or even “high class” but those who know me best know that I am SUPER simple: jeans, tees, shorts and flip flops. “California Cool” as we refer to it in The Valley (my home for ten years of my life), but the changes…they are…a coming.

Full circle. My folks were raised in rural North Carolina and that’s where my current life is leading me. Back to where it all started. The Tarheel State. The North Click. North Cack. First In Flight. Tobacco Road. But my life is different now. And it’s only getting more and more different by the hour. New developments. Late breaking news. It won’t be long. LOL!!!

Ooo! I see smog! LOL!!! Welcome, Welcome! Back to, back to! Cali! Cali! LMAO!!!!!

Here are some images from my “celebration” on the flight from BWI to John Wayne! LOL!!! If you were wondering… I will be 49 in September. I’m quickly approaching the half century mark and I am openly embracing my induction into my “Golden Years.” My dad (who I LOVED and ADORED) is gone and now??? I’m him. I’m The Man. Until it’s time for me to check out and then… LMAO!!!!! We will still be here. Black folks have been here in the states since 1555 and if you didn’t get the memo, we ain’t going nowhere. I ain’t goin’ nowhere. Well… Not for another 20 years or so, God willing.

Cryptic, this has been, yes.

Just know… I love you all.


It’s been a long time!

I’m still here. Still hanging in there. Still crossing the country on occasion for the good Mexican food and sunny shores of SoCal.

The Cavs: BAM!!! Right in the chops!!! D-Wade doin’ splits while Kryrie Irving plays out of his friggin’ mind. And that LeBron guy??? He’s pretty good, too!

The Knicks: 14-61. 14-61. That’s fourteen wins and SIXTY ONE losses!!! Fire Dolan. Fire Fisher. Fire Phil and fire ANYONE who is still paying for single game tickets. If you pre-paid for your season tickets, I really can’t help you bruh BUT if you’re still going to games??? Then you must like punishment. Whips. Chains. Having all kinds of paddles and electric devices shocking the hell out of you just for kicks. Kick in the balls, anyone??? Or a kick in the “good good”, if you’re a woman. Sounds harsh but the reality is that the Knicks are historically bad. HORRIBLE.

Let’s see… Let’s see… Let’s seeeeeeeeeeee………

A little birdie told me that some asshole in Toronto is using my pics on his lame-ass Craigslist hookup ad. Umm… If you’re REALLY packin’ 11 inches, then why aren’t you using pictures of YOUR 11 inch penis and not MY 9 & 1/2″ dick??? Because, well… you’re a LIAR and a bigger dick than the fictitious dick that’s swingin’ between your legs like a wet Ramen noodle. LOSER.

One of these days I may delete my tumblr.

Just not today ;)

Email problems still plague me with the iPhone 6 Plus but it’s GREAT for watching tv!!! LOL!!! My rentboy ad is back up. You’re not imagining things. It’s me. They sent me a “Oh, how we missed you! Here’s an offer you can’t refuse!” email with a little eXXXtra incentive to bring it back, soooooooooo…. I’m back. I may bring my rentmen back up, as well. But, as always, if you contact me and hear nothing back from me? It’s probably because I’m just not feelin’ your poop ass email/text etiquette. Ain’t nobody got time fo dat! LOL!!!

Well. I’m on my way to BWI. OC. Palm Springs. Portland. Seattle. That’s the plan, man. Fun. Sun. Food. Beer. But NO SHOPPING. I have enough clothes. Flip flops. Underwear. Yea. I’m good.

;)

See Ya in Cali!


I’m still here…

Doin’ my thang. Stayin’ out of trouble. Got a message recently that upon first glance, my Anthony Mason RIP posting kinda sorta looked like ***I*** was Anthony Mason and that ***I*** had passed away. Nope. I’m here. Anthony Mason, is not.

I’m a lifelong Knicks fan and he was a fan favorite. A real nice guy in addition to being a real tough guy. Back when the Knicks were contenders. But, you kids would know nothing about that. Linsanity is the closest that the Knicks have come to greatness in a very long time. Oh, those were the days.

Tebow is a no go. Chip, yay or nay? The Walking Dead: Someone should tell Father Gabriel that snitches wind up in ditches. Ditches that are filled with zombies who LOVE chocolate. Noah. He gawn. Boo Boo Kitty suffered a beatdown for the ages, LOL!!! But not ALL ages. Empire is *definitely* NOT kids play. Idol: I’m watching again. After…God… How many seasons have I taken off??? That’s it for TV.

Cold. It’s kinda cool this morning. 30’s.

But spring is coming.

But not before we get another snow storm.

Of course!

Standby: I enjoy it a lot more waiting to see if I can get onto a MegaBus than standing by to see if I can get on an airplane. My chances are much better here than at the airport. That’s how it works. NEED to get on THAT flight!!!! Calm yo ass down, ’cause you ain’t gonna get out of here for a while.

People often ask: “What have you been up to?” I’ve been chillin’. Wizards game. Stuffing my face. Wine Time, which is synonymous with down time. But this Sunday??? I’m off. Sun. Fun. Alcohol. Sightseeing. On sum ole “Look at me! I’m a tourist!” typa shit.

Well. That’s it. I’m on my way to NYC. Until…

Be good.
Be well.


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